Damn Your Eyes!

Today Susan complained that her eyes were hot. I don't even know how that feels. Who the hell gets hot eyes?

Detective Susan Poirot

Background: Today everyone in the office ate fish and chips for lunch including Susan. Actually I didn't eat fish and chips- instead my dinner was a salmon pate sandwich.

Susan couldn't finish hers so she left the remaining cod wrapped in the paper that it was served in, and left it on her desk.

The Time: 1500 hours

The Place: sitting at her desk

The Comment: (smelling the air) "has someone been eating fish?"

I'll understand if you don't believe me on this one, but I assure you it is utterly true. The only way that question could have been any more absurd is if the fish was stapled to her face. And she was a fish herself.

I'm Back...but not for long!

It's been a while. I had things to do. It's not you, it's me, I just wasn't ready for the commitment and I felt you should see other blogs. I'm back now and I have various bits of news for you. Firstly I've been collating Susan stories in my absence so we still have something to talk about. Secondly I've just found out that I'm being made redundant. Don't worry it's alright- I'll be OK. There'll be other jobs and maybe I'll be lucky enough to end up working with someone as excruciatingly thick as Susan. But don't count on it. Whilst there are other Susans, there is only one who reaches the dizzy heights of our protagonist of preposterousness.

Watch this space No, not that one- it's a figure of speech you pseudo Susan. You Pseusan! Watch the bit above this post, where currently there isn't another post but where one will appear shortly with the final instalments of our story.*

*= if you're reading this too late and there already is a post above it, just humour me- this all made sense at the time.